As a foster parent of over 250 foster children during the last 20 years, I know something about anxiety.  My husband spent 30 years in law enforcement, dealing with stress and the anger of others daily.  Most of us think that children don’t feel anxiety, are carefree, full of joy. Normally, that’s the case.  Now, after foster parenting for so long, I know differently.  Kids in care come with the excess baggage of all the stages of grief, behavior that comes with abuse and neglect, are anxious, upset, depressed and angry.  They are often behind in school, social skills, have few friends, and act out physically.

Most kids in care are in need of some kind of counseling program and believe it or not, there are too few to go around.  Depressed and kids in mental anguish and pain often wait for weeks or months to get professional help. 

When foster children were first placed in our home, we offered food, drinks, showed them where they would sleep and where the bathroom was located.  We gave them information on safety rules, and then let them get used to their environment for a few hours and sometimes days before adding more rules or changing the routine.

When dealing with a person who is in crisis, sticking to the basics of food, rest, exercise, someone who cares and listens to their situation can often be of tremendous value. 

Caution:  If you have a serious condition of depression, or have a family member or friend in mental stress, grief, or pain, please be diligent and persistent in seeking professional help.

Here are a few basic tips for dealing with anxiety:

• Limit or avoid cafeine. 
• Caffeine-free herbal teas may help calm jittery nerves.  Some herbs contain chemicals that can offset some common effects of anxiety.  For example, lemon balm, mint, and valerian may help counter insomnia.
• Exercise.  Moderate and consistent walking or aerobics can help with sleeplessness, weight control, and mood swings.
• Make healthy food choices.  Proteins, carbohydrates and vegetables can help keep energy up, so that stress does not deplete your reserves.
• Many adults alleviate headaches, anxiety, depression, and all-over aches and pains with massages.  The use of aromatic oils or lotions makes this therapy even more relaxing. 
• To calm down during a situation of anxiety, sometimes hyperventilation can be controlled by breathing into and out of a paper or plastic bag.

A calming presence from a caring individual can alleviate moments of high stress when a person is experiencing change of any kind.  You don’t have to answer all the questions, just be there.  Be informed, be calm, be well, be a friend.